My wife and I participated in a Mormon Transitions Podcast led by Dr. Kristy Money. We met Kristy briefly last summer while we were in Utah. Recently she started a new podcast for people who are experiencing faith transitions in the Mormon community, and she’s hoping to help people navigate what can be a very difficult life experience. I had some trepidation about listening to my own voice in a podcast, but we listened together and we thought it went really well.
Here are some key things we hope people can learn from this episode about faith transitions, especially as they affect marriages:
- It’s important for spouses to validate each other. It helped a lot when my wife was able to look at the issues I had with the church and recognize how they could be difficult for some people, even if she didn’t reach the same conclusions I did. And on the other side of the coin, it’s important for me or others who leave the church to understand how someone might not see the issues we do in the same way.
- Just because someone leaves the church, it doesn’t mean that person has become bad or evil. And if someone choses to stay after learning all the difficult issues of church history, or if that person disagrees with current church social policies, he or she still deserves love and respect from the non-believer. This goes back to the previous point about validation.
- If you’re transitioning, or you have a spouse who is transitioning, neither of you should feel alone. There are communities and other resources, like Dr. Money’s podcast, to help you navigate what might seem like the most difficult and loneliest thing you’ve had to go through.
- Don’t try to convert your spouse to your way of thinking. It’s perfectly fine and even expected to have different views and conclusions about things. Trying to convert each other will only lead to anger and heartache on both sides.
- Try fostering your mutual love and admiration for each other. Hopefully you didn’t get married just because of the church. There was a reason you fell in love and married, and you should each share with each other what you love and admire about your spouse.